It isn’t awesome to have your iman on the low. It makes you lazy in ibadah, impatient, uneasy and easily stressed out. Nothing feels right. I think the scariest part would be when you start feeling indifferent towards your own complacency. Would that mean that your heart has hardened? If my heart is hardened, does that mean that I’ll go back to jahiliyah?
Jahiliyah?
NO!!!
Never do I want to go back to that again! The time when I thought I was living “a good life”, when in fact I was blindly grasping for brief jolts of excitement which never lasted. And due to this temporariness, I had to keep on “taking” these things to maintain that level of so-called-happiness. Going out, dating, gossiping. Only picking things from the hadith and Quran which are convenient for me. Oh dear. Astaghfiraullah.
My body was satisfied, but my ruh was neglected. And yes, I could feel it. The emptiness, the unsatisfactory, the emotional outbursts, the stress. Everything was distorted. My life, my beliefs, my point of view. And my heart. Oh my poor heart. Enveloped in darkness. With so much sinning, yet no repentance? No purification?
Sighs!
So yes. When we see signs of serious weakness in iman, we should be worried. Very worried. Acknowledging the problem is just the first step. What did we do? What went wrong? Why did we let it go that far?
The next step would be to do something about it. Based on my own experiences (notice the plural?), the killers of my iman have been lack of consistency and worldly distractions. When syaitan sees me inconsistent with my amalan, he’ll keep on coming and work his wonders in hope I’d go astray.
“If Satan, when he looks on thee sees thee disobedient to God, he seeks thee time after time; but if he finds thee constant in obedience to God, he gets tired of thee and discards thee. But if hee sees thee at one time so, and at another so, he has hopes of thee.” (al Hasan)
Then I’d get the New Yorker syndrome. Exams, projects, activites, programs. I become too distracted with all these worldly duties up to the point where I’d forget to just sit down and reconnect with Allah. Solat? Yes. Reciting the Quran? Yes. Islamic gatherings? Yes. But lacking in khusyuk. How can the heart have kusyuk in ibadah when the mind is too preoccupied with worldly things?
Now what?
Taubah. Seek sincere repentance from Allah, and have that determination to ensure that you’ll do it right this time.
“Trully, Allah loves those who turn to him in repentance” (Al Baqarah 2:222)
It also helps to rid of (like facebook feeds of people who are none of your concern) or reduce (live TV shows!) the things that are ridiculously distracting. Then keep a list of amalan that you want to stick to, then gradually increase.
“Verily, those who say: “Our Lord is Allâh (Alone),” and then they Istaqâmû (steadfast) , on them the angels will descend (saying): “Fear not, nor grieve! But receive the glad tidings of Paradise which you have been promised!” (Fussilat 41: 30)
So come and join me, and let us declare WAR against syaitan and our nafsu! ALLAHU AKBAR!
