What’s up with all the unnecessary drama?

You know how everything we see and read always has drama. All fiction TV shows, movies and romance novels must always have some drama in it. The exaggerated, tear-jerking, or frustrating sort of drama.  We get excited when there’s forbidden love between the co-starts. We make decisions on the worthiness of a film depending on how twisted the plot is. So, since we’re suckers for all this ; do you think it explains why most of us like to create unnecessary drama in our own lives? Have we subconsciously made all the fiction, made-up, fabricated stories we see  on the screens and pages of a chick lit as a benchmark to whether we’re living the “real” life?

Think about it.

Cricket. Cricket.

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah and HELLO~!

Yes yes, it’s been awhile. Forgive me. I haven’t been able to sit still in one city since the day I officially completed my course )) Been visiting friends here and there (being homeless in UK forces you to city hop), and insya Allah, will come back to motherland early next month. No fixed dates yet, but that’s no biggie.

No productive post for today, sorry…but do come again!

<3

Marriage proposals at Secondary 5

I was listening to Nur Islam a few nights ago. Forgot what the program was called but the topic was to do with students – pemaslahan penuntut (sp?). The show received this text from a mother who was concerned about her secondary 5 daughter who had been receiving a couple of marriage proposals. People at the studio, including I, couldn’t hold back a chuckle upon hearing this. I was soooo interested what the ustaz had to say to this *rub palms together*

Well, the ustaz’s reply was indeed intriguing. Very..creative and smart. He bengan with, “Boleh tahan jua ah anak daranya ani ah.” Funny, ustaz…funny. Anyway, he advised the mother to looking at the daughter herself. What is it about her that’s  inviting so much attention from the male species? How does she dress? How does she interact with people and the opposite sex? I forgot the rest of the details (because it was 2-3 nights ago)..but the take home message is this (IMHO):

Janganlah kitani jadi fitnah kepada kaum lelaki

Janganlah kitani jadi penyebab kaum lelaki diheret kedalam api neraka

Apostasy (kemurtadaan) in Brunei

You how the khutbah jumaat (Jumaah sermons) are often about what’s going on within the society. They’re like the Dear Sally (or Dear Salleh/Salmah), but addressed to the whole community.

Anyway, today’s khutbah was themed around apostasy (kemurtadaan ). The deen’s POV on a apostasy, the sings and so on.

So my question is this; are there significant cases of apostasy going on in Brunei?

Who wants to get married?

Mengapa saya tulis ini semua (referring to the book “Aku terima nikahnya”)?

Supaya anak muda yang gatal bercinta di celah cita-cita dapat menampar pipi masing-masing agar celik mata melihat ke depan. Jika menolak zina pun jadi kepayahan, halau dirimu daripada cinta dan perkahwinan. Bosan saya melihat jiwa lemah yang merengek-rengek meminta ihsan.

Jika mau bercinta, jangan merancang hanya ke pelamin. Masukkan sekali urusan lampin. Kerana rumah tangga bukan Utopia cloud nine. Ia adalah kombinasi suka dan duka.

Namun dalam duka tetap ada bahagia, itulah nikmat hidup berumah tangga. Medan memberi yang paling mulia.

Abdul Jamil, H (2008). Aku terima nikahnya, pp. 223.

Galeri Ilmu Sdn Bhd: Kuala Lumpur

How many of us who are planning a wedding, daydreaming of a wedding, or thought about getting married actually thought about what comes AFTER the whole 50k expenditure on getting the best dresses, the best make-up artist, the best catering and the best whatevers? How many of us actually think beyond the honeymoons, the big houses, and the new cars?

I know I didn’t.

Taking care of children is not easy. There are times when you’re just about to go to sleep, but adik wants some milk…or when you’ve just sat down after running around with them, and kaka wants to go to the loo. And taking care is not merely about giving them food, clothing them or taking them to the bathroom…but it also involves bringing them up. Educating them. I literally rubbed my forehead when I heard one of my little girls lie…giving all sort of excuses when I asked her to fold her blanket…throwing things around because she didn’t get her way. It concerns me on what exactly had she been taught or been exposed to to know how to do such things by the age of 4!

Get a maid.

The love and attention that we get from our parents are not the same from what a maid, or a nursery, or a teacher can provide. Children were born to sought for the love specifically from our own parents. How often do we hear cases of a child living a rough life because his or her parents are too busy with work? Or unable to educate them in a loving, caring, proper and effective way? If a little child was hungry, a shower would not stop the hunger. If a little child wanted to sleep, giving food would not solve the problem. So no, a maid does not solve the problem.

We keep seeing and sighing on how the world has come to. Social problems, complacency in the office, disrespectful teens, rape, yada yada yada. All these problems did not pop up miraculously. There had to be a reason why they have become  so rampant in today’s society.

Yes, we can blame the media and globalisation…but are we not going to take responsibility for all these problems too? Maybe our “hold” was not strong enough to fight all these aversive agents in corrupting our young. Maybe there was something that we did wrong.

A marriage is more than just about us and our partners. It’s not just about getting the “halal” ticket to do whatevers.

It’s way more that that.

If we do not have the patience to get up every 10 minutes to fulfill the demands of a 3 year old…or have the slightest idea on how to educate a child to ensure that he/she grows up to be a dutiful, useful and praiseworth person (as opposed to the melawan ibu bapa, menyusahkan masyarakat, ayung-ayung type of person) …it’s maybe time to rethink the idea of marriage. Or go on a full-blown panic and super intensive prepping sessions on the realities of a marriage.

A tip to increase khyusuk in solat

Uthman b. Abu al-’As reported that he came to Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) and said:

Allah’s Messenger, the Satan intervenes between me and my prayer and my reciting of the Qur’an and he confounds me. Thereupon Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said:, That is (the doing of the Satan) who is known as Khinzab, and when you perceive its effect, seek refuge with Allah from it and spit three times to your left. I did that and Allah dispelled that from me.

(HR Muslim, Book 26, Hadith 5463)

Soooooo…it ain’t wrong to dry spit over your left shoulder to shoo Khinzab away *thumbs up*!

Do you wake up in the middle of the night?

If we can wake up in the middle of the night to go to the loo..

…surely we can take wudhu after washing our hands (assuming that we ALL wash our hands after our ‘business’), and pray 2 rakaat’s of tahajjud..

Right?

Salam Aidilfitri

It’s been 4 years since I’ve Aildifitiri-ed in Brunei. It could’ve been my 5th year, but alhamdulilah, Allah has given me the rizq to be with the family this Syawal ))

The last night of Ramadhan was spent in the kitchen helping out the family prepping the cakes and biscuits for the living room. It was exciting to see SO many kuih! Got a taste of ALL of them before they were placed neatly in pretty glass bowls…and covered with cling film.  Mabuk kuih jua ulehnya. And there I thought there was only the existance of “mabuk oren”. Mabuk kuih is extra dizzifying!

Syawal came and solat sunnat Aidilfitri was beeeeeeeesstt!!! Stayed over at my relatives and the masjid was literally across the house. So by 7am,  I was already walking with my nini bini from the house to the masjid. It was calming and beautiful. They even had prayer mats OUTSIDE the masjid. Would’ve loved to solat outside…closer to Allah’s raw creations. Sigh. But it’s ok…The front safs were more afdhal.

When it was time to meet and greet people, I got a wee bit nervous. I would get so fidgety when people stated to bersalam tangan. Imma like...”wait, wait, can or not? can or not?” I’d have to constantly mentally check my long and elaborated family tree to see who are mahram and who aren’t. Raya, raya jua…tapi syarak masih syarak. Eventually I learned how to avoid non mahram to not stick out their hands to berjabat tangan:

• Run. When they start going round, get up and go somewhere to do something else. Masuk bilik!  Escape to the toilet!

• Look down. Hang your head REALLY low. Admire the hem of your baju or something. Or rummage through your handbag. If you’re with kids, layan saja kanak-kanak ah.  If you have to pass by them, keep your eyes on the ground!

• Say, “Dapat kaaaaan? Karang batal wudhu“. It’s nicer than having to say, “Inda buleh! HARAM!”

Yeah, they all  should work. They’ve worked with me!

So to all my dearest readers, may you all have a blessed Ramadhan. May all your ibadah and extra amalan persist until this month and onwards. Despite the hype and excitement of visiting friends and relatives, please remember Allah. Jaga hati, jaga solat, jaga lisan, jaga pergaulan.

Selamat hari raya aidilfitiri. Maaf zahir dan batin. Taqaballahu minna wa minkum.

Air mata orang yang soleh

Ikrimah dari Ibn Abbas r.a. berkata:

Tidak ada air mata menitis kecuali dengan kurnia Allah, dan tidak menitis air mata sesorang kerana takut kepada Allah melainkan malaikat akan mengusap-usap hatinya.

What do we represent?

It’s great that Muslim women are proving to the world that we too can do all sorts of things. Climb trees, climb mountains, become world-class singers and gymnasts. Whatever it is. Proving to the world that muslim women aren’t so suppressed or backward as most parts of the world might assume. It’s an achievement, really.

However, are we making such public accomplishments merely to represent women and the country?  How about representing the Muslimah community? The Muslim women? When we’re busy attending press conferences, or training to climb a mountain, or steer that plane do we remember to establish our solat on time? Do we remember to don our hijab? Do we remember to socialise with our colleagues in accordance to what Allah has commanded of us ? Is the activity in itself something that Allah would be pleased about?

Life isn’t merely about breaking all boundaries and doing everything that our heart desires. Ikut hati, mati. Ikut rasa, binasa. It’s worth going back to the basics, and refer to the Quran as to why we were created in the first place:

Aku tidak menciptakan jin dan manusia melainkan agar mereka beribadah kepada-Ku.

I have only created Jinns and men, that they may serve Me.

(Az-Zariyat  51:56)

Dan (ingatlah) ketika Tuhanmu berfirman kepada para malaikat, “Aku hendak menjadikan khalifah di bumi.”

Behold, thy Lord said to the angels: “I will create a vicegerent on earth.”

(Al Baqarah 2:30)

So the next time we decide to do something outrageous, or anything at all …we should ask ourselves; “Will this be considered as ibadah?”, “Is my act considered as enjoining others to good, and forbidding the evil?”

Sighs~ It’s such a reminder for myself. It’s so easy for me to waste my time in that one day. SLEEPING alone takes a lot of time. But, I’m not going to let my nafs win. I might not be just there yet, but I am NOT going to give in. I’m gonna FIGHT this nafsu!! FIGGGGGGHHHHHHTTT!!!!!!!! ALLAHU AKBAR!