Mengapa saya tulis ini semua (referring to the book “Aku terima nikahnya”)?
Supaya anak muda yang gatal bercinta di celah cita-cita dapat menampar pipi masing-masing agar celik mata melihat ke depan. Jika menolak zina pun jadi kepayahan, halau dirimu daripada cinta dan perkahwinan. Bosan saya melihat jiwa lemah yang merengek-rengek meminta ihsan.
Jika mau bercinta, jangan merancang hanya ke pelamin. Masukkan sekali urusan lampin. Kerana rumah tangga bukan Utopia cloud nine. Ia adalah kombinasi suka dan duka.
Namun dalam duka tetap ada bahagia, itulah nikmat hidup berumah tangga. Medan memberi yang paling mulia.
Abdul Jamil, H (2008). Aku terima nikahnya, pp. 223.
Galeri Ilmu Sdn Bhd: Kuala Lumpur
How many of us who are planning a wedding, daydreaming of a wedding, or thought about getting married actually thought about what comes AFTER the whole 50k expenditure on getting the best dresses, the best make-up artist, the best catering and the best whatevers? How many of us actually think beyond the honeymoons, the big houses, and the new cars?
I know I didn’t.
Taking care of children is not easy. There are times when you’re just about to go to sleep, but adik wants some milk…or when you’ve just sat down after running around with them, and kaka wants to go to the loo. And taking care is not merely about giving them food, clothing them or taking them to the bathroom…but it also involves bringing them up. Educating them. I literally rubbed my forehead when I heard one of my little girls lie…giving all sort of excuses when I asked her to fold her blanket…throwing things around because she didn’t get her way. It concerns me on what exactly had she been taught or been exposed to to know how to do such things by the age of 4!
Get a maid.
The love and attention that we get from our parents are not the same from what a maid, or a nursery, or a teacher can provide. Children were born to sought for the love specifically from our own parents. How often do we hear cases of a child living a rough life because his or her parents are too busy with work? Or unable to educate them in a loving, caring, proper and effective way? If a little child was hungry, a shower would not stop the hunger. If a little child wanted to sleep, giving food would not solve the problem. So no, a maid does not solve the problem.
We keep seeing and sighing on how the world has come to. Social problems, complacency in the office, disrespectful teens, rape, yada yada yada. All these problems did not pop up miraculously. There had to be a reason why they have become so rampant in today’s society.
Yes, we can blame the media and globalisation…but are we not going to take responsibility for all these problems too? Maybe our “hold” was not strong enough to fight all these aversive agents in corrupting our young. Maybe there was something that we did wrong.
A marriage is more than just about us and our partners. It’s not just about getting the “halal” ticket to do whatevers.
It’s way more that that.
If we do not have the patience to get up every 10 minutes to fulfill the demands of a 3 year old…or have the slightest idea on how to educate a child to ensure that he/she grows up to be a dutiful, useful and praiseworth person (as opposed to the melawan ibu bapa, menyusahkan masyarakat, ayung-ayung type of person) …it’s maybe time to rethink the idea of marriage. Or go on a full-blown panic and super intensive prepping sessions on the realities of a marriage.
)) Been visiting friends here and there (being homeless in UK forces you to city hop), and insya Allah, will come back to motherland early next month. No fixed dates yet, but that’s no biggie. 
